Now I want a press release for each team haha I will have to work on one for my teams.

The Owls Are Not What They Seem Preach Calm, Patience

Cleveland, OH -- Head coach Larry Drew II/Tyronn Lue/J.B. Bickerstaff/David Blatt/John Beilein says fans have nothing to worry about. Despite the team's 3-5 start, DrewLue/Bickerstaff/Blatt/Beilein/Rich Paul insists the Owls aren't a bad team.

"I know there was a lot of excitement going into the season. We're only eight games in. I think a lot of this is on me. I have to find better ways to use these guys. I'm not going to stop making adjustments until we find a lineup that maximizes our strengths." This contrasted in tone from what Karl Malone had to say, who stated emphatically that "these b**** m************ need to get their game up or I'm going down to Mexico, and who knows when I'll be back? I'll pull a Rodman on you m************ in the first ten games. Bet you won't like that too much. Punk a** b******."

Although Karl Malone and his savant sidekick Nikola Jokic are having stellar individual performances, the team is still trying to find its identity. "There's a lot of talent on this team," point guard Jose Calderon said. "I feel like I have to find this best ways to maximize it."

"I want to give Fred a chance," said coach Drew/Lue/Bickerstaff/Blatt/Beilein/Gilbert. "Jose is great, don't get me wrong. This is not an indictment on Jose."

"What'd he say?" Calderon said when he heard that.

"Rashard has been great about the fluctuating rotations. I'm mad at myself for not giving him a consistent role yet. Rodney is great too. If they're both playing well together, they can be a deadly two way combination. I'm excited to see what the next couple of games will bring."

It's funnier if you imagine Karl Malone as having the voice of Busta Rhymes.

Owner	Pts
copernicus	28
kinoa1	25
dh555	25
tarheel1991	24
pexetera	24
mptrey	24
jcred5	24
benhoidal	24
dBKC	23
gerryred	22
ashamael	22
jpevans31	21
robusk	20
jhsukow	19
pharrop	18
amerk1180	18
20ks	18
goetz93	16
dskantor	16
24kpyrite	16
longtallbrad	15
samuelyork93	14
ysw128	12
bds9992	12

and it's copernicus by half a length nearing the first turn... the track is muddy

[BREAKING] @wojespn - Sources: Mambo #1 star James Harden has requested a trade to The Gold Club. In similar fashion, Mambo #2 star James Harden has requested to play the remainder of the season for Mons Venus. In League #3 news, Mambo #3 star James Harden has asked the team to trade him to Spearmint Rhino. Mambo #4 star James Harden has been linked to trade rumors to Rick’s Cabaret, and in League #5: James Harden, the star of Mambo #5, has asked for a little bit of Clermont Lounge in his life.

Didn't see this copernicus domination coming. He lulled us all into a false sense of security by making us think he was barely holding on during the draft.

I’m caught by surprise too, I didn’t think much of a team who used a 2nd on Mookie Blaylock. You’ve clearly proved me wrong. Great job.

I feel like both Mookie and Bobby Mac have value in this theme - that said let's not get ahead of ourselves here - here come the L5s

The top tier guard pool is so damn slim in this format. No Curry, no LeBron, only 1.5 Pennys. The best scoring guards are Jordan, Bird (sometimes) and Durant (sometimes), and it isn't close. Putting defense and 3s around Jordan in this format is a scary thought. I drafted Iguodala in the 4th and I know he's not good enough if I meet cope in the playoffs (which, from the looks of it, I won't). I didn't think of it originally but that was a masterful pick. Plenty of top big men; only one MJ.

Posted by bds9992 on 6/15/2020 3:26:00 PM (view original):
The top tier guard pool is so damn slim in this format. No Curry, no LeBron, only 1.5 Pennys. The best scoring guards are Jordan, Bird (sometimes) and Durant (sometimes), and it isn't close. Putting defense and 3s around Jordan in this format is a scary thought. I drafted Iguodala in the 4th and I know he's not good enough if I meet cope in the playoffs (which, from the looks of it, I won't). I didn't think of it originally but that was a masterful pick. Plenty of top big men; only one MJ.

This was my logic for drafting Harden and he’s paying dividends so far. My worst team is .500, and he’s in the MVP race (some more than others) in all 5 leagues. Typed as I knocked on wood.

Charles Barkley Post Game Press Conference
June 15, 2020 -- Thank you for coming. I'm happy to answer any questions.

Ernie Johnson: So why do you think your teams lost today?
Charles: We had black guys who sucked. That’s hard to do. We were the only organization in the NBA who could find black guys who couldn’t play.
Ernie: Well, the other teams stars scored more points than you.
Charles: Maybe I’m old school, but I’m never going to like that little girly basketball where you have to outscore people. I’m biased against girl basketball.
Ernie: What do you say to your critics who say you're not working hard enough in practice?
Charles: If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she’s ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can’t play a lick. Same thing.
Ernie: What do you say about Pexetera still being able to keep his job as GM of the team?
Charles: Pex must have pictures of his boss’s wife having sex with a monkey.

Ernie: Auburn is a pretty good school. To graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort.
Charles: 20 pts and 10 rebounds will get you through also. All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.
Ernie: Did you ever graduate from Auburn?
Charles: No, but I have a couple people working for me who did. When I was recruited at Auburn, they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.

Ernie: How do you feel about your upcoming game against the Raging Bulls?
Barkley: They're in a lot of trouble.

stephen-a-smith-uncomfortable-with-where-we-went.gif

(all responses are actual Charles Barkley quotes taken from http://charlesbarkleyquotes.blogspot.com/2008/02/top-50-charles-barkley-quotes.html#more)