When the Stupidity reaches MIND-NUMBING Levels....

Tough-On-Crime Democrats Propose ‘100 Strikes And You’re Out’ Law

U.S. — Facing heavy criticism for going easy on violent criminals, a group of Democrats sought to prove that they are tough on crime by proposing a bold new "100 Strikes and You're Out" law.

The new initiative brought forward by Democrats was praised by media outlets as a step in the right direction to hold violent, murderous criminals accountable after they have brazenly committed 100 horrific acts against innocent victims.

"At some point, enough is enough," said Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. "There is simply a line which no one must cross, and that line is at 100 serious crimes committed. We cannot allow this type of wanton disregard for law and order in our cities, which is why we — the party that is tough on crime — are proposing legislation that will limit the number of chances these criminals have to just 100. No more."

Other prominent Democrats were quick to join the charge. . "Look, we're reasonable," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We understand that sometimes people need second chances. And third chances. And seventy-fifth chances. Maybe eighty-ninth chances. But once you have 100 strikes, we're taking a hardline stance. You're out."

At publishing time, Democrats clarified that the "100 Strikes and You're Out" law would only apply to Democrat criminals. Republicans are still one and done.

'Clue' Board Game For Liberals Just Has You Blame The Murder Weapon

‘Why Won’t Conservatives Give Up Their Guns?’ Ask the People Shooting at Them

Democratic leaders expressed dismay that conservatives would continue to refuse to disarm themselves in the face of open, murderous hostility.



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Today in Stupidity

CHARLIE KIRK WAS RIGHT!!

“first question: a religious one. I’m happy to talk about faith—there’s extensive evidence for the resurrection of jesus christ, intrabiblical and extrabiblical. he lived a perfect life, was crucified, died and rose on the third day, and he is lord and god over all.”

“too many.”

“counting or not counting gang violence?”

FOR CHARLIE

10 Irrefutable Signs Trump's Health Is Declining

Speculation has been swirling about President Donald Trump's health, with some people even spreading wild rumors that he died over the weekend. What's the real story?

The Babylon Bee has come up with the following list of undeniable signs that Trump's health is going downhill:

1. Trump has been occasionally posting in lowercase on social media, and his posts have been more coherent: This is not normal.

2. He is sometimes seen sitting down: A sure sign of failing health. Obviously weak.

3. He only managed to eat eight Big Macs today: It's like he's slowly fading away.

4. The man's frickin' 80 or something: Obviously, anyone over 80 years old is at death's door.

5. Trump shakes hands with nobody, says nonsense, and wanders around aimlessly: Oh, wait, that was the last guy.

6. He shot a mere 36 on the links this weekend: Sources close to Trump say he's a shadow of his usual 24.

7. He only works 23 hours a day now: A shocking decline in stamina.

8. JD Vance beat him at Monopoly yesterday: This NEVER used to happen. Trump's losing his touch.

9. He introduced just 8 new tariffs in the last eight hours: This drop in productivity is concerning.

10. The swelling of his head has gone to his ankles: The end is near.

This is terrifying evidence. It's obviously only a matter of time before Trump is out of commission.

Stubborn Trump Refuses To Admit He's Dead

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a statement from the Oval Office, President Trump stubbornly refused to admit that he died this past weekend.

Journalists pressed the President as to why he would not simply admit that he is dead, but to no avail.

"You are obviously dead, Mr. President. Why will you not level with the American people?" asked Kaitlin Collins of CBS News.

"Excuse me, but can a ghost shoot three under par on the back nine like I did on Saturday? No way, not any ghosts that I know," responded President Trump. "They can't even hold a club with their ghost hands. It's embarrassing, frankly, how bad ghosts are at golf."

"Mr. President, sir. Ghosts can learn to exert force on real objects -- or have you not seen the Patrick Swayze movie Ghost?" responded Collins. "Whoopie Goldberg was in it and she says you're dead, Mr. President. Just admit it."

"That's ridiculous, a ghost could never beat me at golf," said Trump. "I will challenge Whoopie or any ghost, anywhere, to a round of golf. You can get the ghost of Arnold Palmer, I don't care who it is, no chance. I am the best at ghost golf, believe me."

At publishing time and just after a 3 hour televised cabinet meeting, the media had denounced Trump's proclamation of still being alive as "fake news."



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"Walk Like A Joe Biden" - (Walk Like An Egyptian Parody) | Louder With Crowder

Millions Of Christian Extremists Gather To Pray For Those Who Want To Kill Them

U.S. — Reports from across the country reveal millions of Christian extremists gathered in groups this morning to pray for the people who want to kill them.

Though they shed tears of grief for the dead, the extremists collectively reaffirmed their belief in the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting.

"Yes, we are grieved and sorrowful, and for all those hurting deeply, we pray to the Lord," said local man Greg Thompson. "And for those who have hurt us and celebrate our grief, we also pray to the Lord. We have seen the most heinous form of hate, that which will take a life. We have also experienced the greatest form of love, that which will lay down its own life, pure and spotless. At the cross -- where again, hatred took a life -- love proved stronger than hate. Love proved stronger than death. And so, suffering as we are, we strive to follow the example of Christ. Forgive them, Father. Bring them to your Kingdom."

At publishing time, the Christian extremists had announced plans to do the very same thing again next Sunday.