So yeah, you need to be able to read my mock to understand my picks... after 9, it mostly turns into jokes/non-sense. Also, a couple of owners got switched so the jokes were ruined as well...
1. Bds9992 - Lebron James After a steel cage match with his inner demons, bds passes on his desires to grab Nikola Jokic and instead makes the right decision. Lebron is the ultimate flex pick, giving you everything you could want, nothing you don’t, and is 100% effective at more positions than anybody else in the sim.
2. gerryred (via dBKC) - Wilt Chamberlain gerry’s kind of unpredictable at times, and he may pull the trigger on Curry or Shaq here - he likes clean players, and both fit that description - but the power of Wiltzilla is ultimately too strong to resist, and he succumbs to the call. Wilt gives him a board lord for basically 48 mpg that has at worst good and at best out-*******-standing efg% & defense.
3. dBKC (via gerryred) - Steph Curry In the first Savage, everyone (except me - I’m wise) scoffed when dBKC took James Harden. I’m not sure how many will scoff at taking Curry here. A few, certainly, but Curry - like Harden - makes it so that dBKC doesn’t have to worry so much about threes the rest of the draft. Curry can also be the actual point guard some seasons or a high assist two guard, opening up options later in the draft.
4. Dskantor - Shaquille O’Neal The consensus #1 in hindsight from last year’s class, dskantor makes the right call and takes the cleanest high-usage efg% paint monster there is. He considers both Kareem & Howard for a long while here.
5. ashamael - Dwight Howard Ash chooses the boards over the minutes and hates himself for the next 6 months.
6. Tarheel1991 - Kareem Abdul Jabbar ‘Heel struggles over showing disloyalty to his beloved Tar Heel, Michael Jordan, but ultimately makes the right call by taking the best player left on the board. Minutes, efg%, defense, and even good rebounding some seasons (average or below average on some).
7. 24kpyrite - Michael Jordan 24k contemplates taking cp3 again, remembers what happened last season, and then goes the MJ route. MJ is absolutely the best SG at this point and has fewer weaknesses than Barkley. Elite Defense, good efg @ high usage, good rebounds, dimes, and low turnovers.
8. Mikee1 - Charles Barkley mikee loves Barkley and saw Pex’s success with him. Briefly considers CP3 but then doubles down on the round mound of rebound. Best efg%/usage% guy left on board. Strong rebounding for the position. Everybody knows the weaknesses of Chuck, but who is willing to bet on his strengths outweighing them first? Mikee is.
9. Goetz93 - Chris Paul Goetz showed he belongs in the Savage the first go-round, and then solidifies it by picking the best overall point guard in the sim. Nobody offers the combination of ast, low turnovers, defense, usage, efg, threes, and rebounding from the PG position.
10. Mptrey - Karl Malone Mailman falls drastically from the first draft, though to blame bds’ performance for this is unfair & unwarranted. Why’d you even bring it up? Anyway… Mailman has a great efg + usage combo, good defense most seasons, great defense a couple of seasons, solid defensive rebounding, and good assists some seasons. Not many weaknesses make this a fantastic value for mptrey.
11. Amerk1180 - David Robinson amerk grabs the best big defender in the draft despite his lack of success last year with Duncan & Mutombo. The admiral is much better offensively than Duncan, however, and has a relatively clean game. Picking the fifth season is the most difficult part of making this choice, as there are four absolute no-brainers.
12. pexetera - Artis Gilmore Fouls? Turnovers? Pex is the honey badger: he doesn’t give a fuuuuuuck. Artis gives superior efg%, rebounding, and solid defense. A+ for our returning champion.
13. Robusk - Kevin Durant despite his conviction about paying more attention to offensive boards and grabbing minutes monsters, Rob can’t pass up KD’s monster efficiency. Massive efg+usage combo? Check. Good to great defense? Check. Decent drb%? Yup. What about dimes? Yeah, he’s got that. Rob hates himself for making this pick but can’t justify skipping having KD’s mom on the sidelines.
14. Dh555 - John Stockton dh agonizes over Bird & Giannis for a while, but then confidently slams the keyboard while typing in all caps: “JOHN STOCKTON. HE’LL LEAD ALL THE LEAGUES IN ASSISTS.”
15. Samuelyork93 - Larry Bird Sam likes tall white guys that can shoot. This one happens to do a bunch of other stuff well, too.
16. Kinoa1 - Giannis Antetokounmpo If 19-20 seasons are there, Giannis is top 10. If not, he’s difficult to build around but worth the challenge. Kinoa’s up to both the game & the challenge. God help us all if 19-20 comes out.
17. Albiband0 - James Harden Don’t doubt the beard or the Swede! Or is Alb swiss? I can’t remember and am too lazy to go look. I know it’s one of the other. I think it’s Swiss. Let’s go with that. The Swiss have those discreet banks & good chocolate. If that’s not an endorsement for Harden here, I don’t know what is.
18. Jcred5 - Moses Malone jcred parts the red seas of the draft after wading through Harden’s beard for 17 hours. This feels like a good spot for Moses, as he gives you a lot of positives, some negligible stuff, but is super flexible.
19. Jpevans31 - Deandre Jordan jp kicks off the “I don’t care about usage” portion of the draft with the best overall guy like that. Well, except for Wilt. Maybe that got kicked off a long time. Wtf, JP? Why are you a follower? Oh well, welcome to the Savage! I’m sure you’ll do well in your first season!
20. Benhoidal - Lebron James Ben finds a loophole and somehow comes out with Lebron. Everyone’s outraged, including bds who flips a coin to take Anthony Davis over Nikola Jokic.
21. 20ks - Magic Johnson Magic’s the perfect pick here, making round 2 extremely easy for 20ks. He has dimes taken care of. Magic brings solid offense for five seasons, good minutes, and even plays defense sometimes.
22. Jhuskow - Dennis Rodman jh continues his trend from the first Savage by picking another sf. This one is only a sometimes sf, but it’s okay, as jh will draft at least 5 more.
23. Longtallbrad - Hakeem Olajuwon Brad wakes up questioning his pick, his life, and the tiger on the toilet. But he shouldn’t question the pick.
24. ysw128 - Tim Duncan Pop ain’t gonna pass on Duncan. Oh, you didn’t know ysw was Gregg Popovich? Neither did he.