Season 2 - Episode 24: yeah, sure, whatever
Upon a dark background, white block letters say ‘PREVIOUSLY ON GAME OF ZONES’. The Os are filled in as though they are basketballs.
Scene opens to the stands of the great arena. Lord dh555 steps towards the front to address the crowd. “Ladies and Gentlemen of Westeros. Six weeks ago began the greatest tournament this realm has ever known. We have seen bloodshed, glory, and some of the best fighting in history. But, we are not done yet. The seeding rounds are over, and we have narrowed the field down. There will be five champions of these final tilts, and the one who scores highest overall shall be crowned champion and King of the Land!” He steps away for a second and grabs a purple pillow upon which rests a large ornate crown. He hoists it into the air in front of him and exclaims, “Let the playoffs begin!”
Cut to Sir Wilt being held down by three monkey acolytes in the temple of No Evil. We see Lord Gerry the Red approach.
Lord Gerry: “We will take your eyes, your ears, your voice. All men must serve, and you shall serve by leading our house to victory in the Hand’s Tournament. Then, and only then, will you be able to give the Gift to Sir Russell and the other Shamrock Knights. So I ask again, can you pay the price?”
The camera zooms in on Wilt’s face. He is trembling but he manages to nod. The camera angle shifts and we find ourselves looking through Wilt’s eyes. The monkey with the fiery brand lashes out, and our screen goes dark.
Cut to a quick shot of Sir Giannis puking his guts out in the medical tent.
Cut to Lord jpevans31 hovering over a chess board in the stands. “Look for there to be another war and lords will have to choose sides.”
Cut to Lord dBKC sitting on a throne made of pots and pans: “The lords of the realm are choosing sides as we speak.”
Cut to the highest tower of Devilstone. We see Lord benhoidal approaching a maroon door with an outline of a golden devil on it. He stretches out a hand and tickles the devil on the door. It starts to dance and the door swings open. We see a figure curled on the floor in a fetal position. A glowing golden rope is tied across its body and hands. From the glow of the rope we can just make out two pointed horns on the figure’s head. We zoom in slightly and its features come in to focus. It is Lord benhoidal.
Our camera angle shifts and we are looking out from inside the closet into the main room. We hear a whimper from behind us. Ahead of us, framed in the doorway and wearing the same red robes, we see the figure who a second before was in the image of Lord benhoidal. The air shimmers in front of the figure’s face for a second before clearing and we can see who is behind the illusion.
Lord ashamael: “Hello again, old friend.”
The screen darkens to black and we see a disclaimer in white letters appear: ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS CARTOON, EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE, ARE FICTIONAL AND ALL VOICES ARE OBVIOUSLY IMPERSONATED. The letters disappear and new letters take its place: GAME OF ZONES. The Os are basketballs. These letters too disappear and a cartoon knight is seen dribbling a basketball between his legs next to new letters: SEASON 2 - EPISODE 24: yeah, sure, whatever
Scene opens to the great arena in the middle of King’s Landing. We zoom in on the section in the stands where the defeated lords are watching the action. We see Lords albiband, jpevans31, ysw128, jhsukow, and goetz93 already in their seats. Walking down the aisles to join them we see Lords mikee1, pharrop, Gerry the Red, and Brad of the Longest and Tallest House. The lords all sit down and we zoom in on Lord ysw128 and Lord pharrop who are trying to figure out how it went so wrong for them in the tournament.
Lord pharrop: “I think Sir Walton is where you went wrong in the selection process.”
Lord ysw128: “you sure? walton?”
Lord pharrop: “Yes, you already had Sir Malone and Sir McHale. I would have thought you would have gone after a quicker knight next, or maybe an archer.”
Lord ysw128: “you’re so witty.”
Lord pharrop: “Why thank you! Although you would never know it from my tournament performance. If only Sir Giannis hadn’t gotten sick when it mattered.”
Lord ysw128: “yeah, sure, whatever.”
Lord pharrop looks affronted by the lack of attention given to him by Lord ysw128, but then is distracted by a loud commotion near the sidelines.
Sir Durant, Sir Chandler, and Sir Drexler are laughing hysterically and falling over each other in amusement.
Sir Durant: “I can’t believe our Lord rested his best knights and we still are going to win!”
Sir Drexler: “Maybe we aren’t his best knights?”
The trio all look over towards the third courtyard and we follow their gaze. Sir Armstrong, Sir Granger, Sir Odom, Sir Okafor, and Sir Przybilla are all taking turns whacking Sir Harden with their swords as Sir Harden’s teammates look on.
Sir Harden: “Aren’t you guys going to help me?”
Sir Dikembe wags his finger: “No, no, no.”
Sir Wall: “Sir Dikembe is right. You never let us help you during the season, why should we help you know? We are tired of you getting all the attacks!”
We cut over to the section of the stands where the lords still in the tournament are sitting. Lord robusk is walking over to Lord benhoidal, who is fidgeting uncomfortably and watching the fourth court in despair.
Lord robusk: “I know I’ve been critical of your tactics in the past, but allowing my best knights to rest is certainly proving to be quite advantageous. I went with the full Ben in this one.”
Lord benhoidal: “What? Oh yes, I suppose that is one of my tactics.”
Lord robusk: “Why are you looking at the fourth courtyard? Your team is playing over on court five.”
Lord benhoidal quickly positions himself to look at the next courtyard over.
Lord robusk: “At least you’re not doing as poorly as Lord ashamael. He’s getting swept by Lord jcred5.”
Lord benhoidal grimaces and balls his hands into fists.
We cut back to where Lord ysw128 is sitting. He has moved away from Lord pharrop and now is sitting between Lord Gerry the Red and Lord Brad of the Longest and Tallest House. Lord Brad is blinking heavily. Lord Gerry is covering his eyes with one hand and alternating between ears with the other.
Lord Gerry: “I just wish Sir Wilt would have been able to get his revenge on Sir Russell. I did promise him after all when he joined my guild.”
Lord jhsukow overhears this from behind them and pipes in: “How did you not make it past the second round with any of the Wilts? That best Wilt should be an automatic championship.”
Lord Gerry: “Well Sir Wilt was so preoccupied with going after Sir Russell, that he didn’t fight well in the tournaments.”
Lord jhsukow: “Maybe it’s because you burned out his eyes, lopped off his ears, and sliced his throat?”
Lord Gerry: “No, that can’t be it. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. That’s the creed.”
Lord ysw128: “you sliced wilt?”
Lord Gerry: “Sorry, can you speak into my other ear? I am covering this one currently.”
Lord ysw128: “yeah, sure, whatever.”
Lord jhsukow: “So who do you guys think will win it all? I thought for sure it was going to be Lord pexetera, but he’s getting swept by Lord dBKC so far and is barely hanging on against bds9992. If he doesn’t win one of the tournaments, he’s going to fall short again.”
Lord Gerry: “He has too many knights who only know how to do inside attacks. He needs more archers. Sir Stephen is killing him with those outside strikes.”
Lord Brad lets out a loud yawn and rests his head on Lord ysw128’s shoulder.
Lord ysw128: “yawn softer, weirdo.”
Lord jhsukow: “Then there’s dBKC. He’s the obvious choice right now, but is losing to both Lord 24kpyrite on court two and getting swept by the Hand on court three. Is one championship enough to win the throne? What if he can’t even win one?”
Lord Brad snores faintly and cuddles in close to Lord ysw128.
Lord ysw128: “you’re so warm.”
Lord jhsukow: “Both the Hand, Lord dh555 and mptrey look like they are pretty safe to advance one of their teams, but they’re both down in their other battle. If one of them can get two teams into the finals, they might have a chance.”
Lord ysw128: “you’re so wrong.”
Lord jhsukow: “I don’t know, I think they might just do it. And what about bds9992? He’s down to possibly his last fight! Is this the end of him? Will the gods decide he is guilty? Or can he pull off one last miracle?”
Lord Gerry: “If he can’t win with Sir LeBron, will he ever win a championship and gain his lordship?”
Lord ysw128: “youngling stays winless.”
Lord jhsukow: “All I know is that this is the most exciting finish to a tournament yet. I don’t know who’s going to win this thing, but I’m already looking forward to the next Savage War.”
Lord ysw128: “yikes. savage war?”
Lord Gerry: “What do you mean, the next savage war?”
Lord jhsukow: “Oh, you haven’t heard? Whomever wins between Lord pexetera and Lord dBKC, the other is going to start a rebellion. Lords are already choosing who to follow. As long as I don’t get the 22nd pick next time, I’m sure to be on the winning side.”
Lord ysw128: “you surely won’t.”
Lord jhsukow: “Hey, at least I did better than you!”
Lord ysw128: “you sonuva witch.”
Lord jhsukow looks at him strangely and starts to speak, but before he can get the words out we hear a loud uproar from the next section over.
Lord benhoidal is now standing up and no longer looking at the fourth courtyard. His eyes are wide open in surprise. We follow his gaze across the stands and we see what the commotion is about.
Another Lord benhoidal is striding towards the first one, a furious look on his face, a fiery golden rope trailing behind him attached to one ankle.
The crowd is in an uproar. Lord ysw128 stands along with the rest of his section and starts yelling strong words as our screen goes black and white block letters take over the screen: GAME OF ZONES.