A pet peeve:
Sports teams that leave one city and go to another, but keep a name that was geographically or culturally associated with that other place.
THIS MUST END!
If a team moves, it should adopt a name appropriate to the new venue. Some names are neutral enough that it doesn’t matter. But others are not, and only make sense in the original or previous setting.
This means that a lot of teams must change their names.
So:
Washington Senators to Texas Rangers is very good. Both names immediately conjure up the place the teams plays in, and some characteristics we associate with that place.
Likewise Washington Senators to Minnesota Twins (there were two Washington Senators, this was the original one, the later expansion team is the one that moved to Texas remember?). Again, the twin cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul – not as good a fit as Texas Rangers but it works.
Cleveland Browns to Baltimore Ravens, again, good. A LOT of Ohio teams used colors for their names: the Cincinnati Reds still do, the Cleveland Blues – the name the Indians should have changed to, this was a name for an old Cleveland team – and the Browns fit right in. And even nearby Louisville chimed in with the “Grays” at one point when it had a team. As did the old Negro Leagues’ Homestead Grays in western Pennsylvania. The Ravens is for Edgar Allan Poe, buried in Baltimore. Okay, this works.
BUT…
Two of the most prominent Los Angeles teams, the Dodgers and Lakers should be required by law to change their names.
Dodgers was for Brooklyn – the trolley dodgers, the fans of Brooklyn who had to dodge the trolley cars of the city streets. Los Angelinos do NOT dodge any damn trolley cars. The Road Ragers might be a better name if we want to keep the commuting theme.
The Lakers were originally in Minnesota. The Land O’ Lakes (who knew that the dairy company of that name is the largest cooperative in the United States? Yeah socialism, but I digress).
The Los Angeles area may have some lakes but it is not known as the Land of Lakes. The Beachers maybe. I don’t know. The Pacifics. Whatever.
Particularly unacceptable is the Utah Jazz. They were a NEW ORLEANS TEAM! Can anyone imagine two places more different culturally than Salt Lake City and New Orleans?
Jazz was invented in New Orleans, it is known for it. I don’t even know if jazz is legal in Utah. Okay, cheap shot, but you know what I mean.
Strangely, had the New Orleans football team moved to Utah, it could have adjusted easily, from the Saints to the Latter-Day Saints!
If the Colorado Avalanche were to move to Omaha, where there are not mountains and land is as flat as my table, it would not work. Please use some common sense and cultural and geographical respect folks !
Other team names are associated with the history of their place, like the Kansas City Royals - the Royals are called that in honor of the Kansas City Monarchs, the very greatest of the old Negro League teams. A nice thing really. If they move, it won't work, unless they moved to Montreal, which also had a team called the Royals once, a minor league team, where Jackie Robinson first desegregated professional baseball before joining the Brooklyn Dodgers.
Now some names of teams that move, like Giants or Raiders are essentially neutral. The Pirates were called that because once upon a time they raided other teams’ players. That now happens to them as a small market team. But if they moved, even if the alliteration would be lost, the Austin Pirates or whatever would work okay I guess. Pittsburgh is not on the ocean anymore than Austin, Lexington or Cedar Rapids are. I was a devout Oakland Raiders fan and hate the idea of that name being used for Los Angeles, Las Vegas or wherever the heck that team now plays, but whatever, there is no reason a team from those cities can’t be called that.
If the Dallas Cowboys moved to Kansas City (where there was once a team by that name) or to Denver, or Oklahoma or Arizona it would work. If they moved to New Jersey or Connecticut it would be ridiculous.
Likewise with the Denver Broncos, no way they could be the Los Angeles Broncos or the Boston Broncos. Sorry.
Which is why the Arizona Cardinals are also absurd. Are there even birds in Arizona? It’s a desert. Call them the Vultures or the Buzzards. Not the Cardinals, please.
I must also, since we are on Arizona, mention that team names should a) be plural and b) refer to something we know.
The Diamondbacks is a stupid name. It’s a kind of snake. How many of you knew that immediately upon hearing the name of the team? Why not the Rattlers or the Rattlesnakes?
Which bring us to the city that violates both of the rules above a) and b):
What the hell is a marlin? Call them the Florida Fish. The Miami Tunas. The Miami Dolphins is a great name. I know that is taken, but hey, there were once Cardinals in two sports in St. Louis where cardinals belong (there and in Rome, as Joe Medwick “Your holiness, I too was once a Cardinal” Medwick reminded one of the Popes once), so there can be two dolphin teams in Miami. And if it becomes Waves it is waves, not Wave.
And as for the Miami Heat, no good. Must be plural. The Miami Heat Waves. The Miami Hurricanes, even the Miami Vices, but no singular names. The Montreal Expos and their poor fans understood this. The Montreal Expo of 1969 was a one-time event, but they still correctly went with a plural name.
Now, I must end here on a troubling note for me as a Yankees fan. Based on everything I wrote above, the Yankees is not a name appropriate to a New York team. Everyone knows what a Yankee is: it has three meanings: 1) to people in the former Confederacy, it means any northerner (they can go to Minnesota and jump in one of the things that state is famous for, but I digress), in which case it is too generic for a New York team; 2) it means any NORTH American from the United States to many people south of the border throughout Latin America and the Caribbean – even more generic; 3) finally, its only really specific meaning is someone from…wait for it…NEW ENGLAND. The Boston team could be called the Yankees. Not a New York team. The Bronx Bombers, their longtime nickname? The New York Skylines? The New York Cosmopolitans? The New York Champions? The New York Eagles (for an old Newark, NJ, Negro league team), The New York Skyscrapers? The New York Subways? The New York Knickerbockers (taken but see “Cardinals” above)? The New York Heroes (sandwiches – it’s the NY name for submarine sandwiches or grinders or whatever name they go by in other parts of the country), The New York Urbanites?
We have a lot of renaming work to do folks. The Detroit Tigers are fine with a neutral name that can work anywhere. Other teams? Not so lucky. If the San Diego Padres move to Mobile, what is to be done?