I'll preface my post saying I think the flaw of not allowing players to view all schools that a recruit is interested in should be fixed ASAP (either by allowing us to scroll or sort through other means other than alphabetically).
I think shoe would say that if you are vulnerable to someone who is not visible it is probably due to the fact that you aren't prioritizing the target (i.e. attempting to cheap out to funnel your AP/recruiting $$$$ elsewhere). Obviously there are risk/rewards to such a strategy but its true that some schools having a clear advantage over others through no fault other than picking a school with a low initial letter.
I have on occasion even publicly notified the user (ironically it was you at WF for
Derek Flynn) when I was lurking on the consideration list even though I was not visible (I was letting you know primarily due to the fact you were considering cutting an actual player off your roster at the time for a recruit in CA which I was targeting to replace an EE at the start of RS2).
How would you want us as coaches to behave due to this? To avoid what you would call late "poaching" (while I assume if Alabama was doing it, that's OK since they are visible)? How about if you are visible for 1 or 2 sessions and then are pushed off (do they get a pass then?)